One In Twelve Thousand
by gingersnake
Summary: Humanstuck. Sollux and Karkat get to taste the cost of bad decisions. But only one in twelve thousand chance could save them from the cost of a stolen kiss.
1. Prologue

One In Twelve Thousand.

Prologue.

"I fucking hate you!" A short boy with a black mess of a hair on his head and an upturned nose stomped into the room. His eyebrows pulled tight together, teeth showing, he was almost growling.

"Sollux!?" He exclaimed when there was no response from the boy on the bed playing on his DS.

"God damn it, don't ignore me, you moron!" The guy walked to Sollux before pushing him harshly in the shoulder. "Don't you fucking ignore me after this! What was that even? Huh? Tell me, fuck-ass." Weak punches, although best he could do, rained on the boy on the bed who honestly could care less about it.

"I thaid, I'm thorry, Karkat." Sollux replied after a long silence, not even looking up at him. To be exact he did not react at all until he beat the level in the game. He rolled away from the punches grunting, then continued playing, lying on his back.

"That's it, I'm done!" Karkat exclaimed giving up and demonstratively throwing his hands in the air. He rushed to the dresser pulling out two top shelves and pouring clothes onto the floor. "I'm so fucking done!" The slim boy on the bed stretched his already long body, burring one hand in his dark choppy hair and lazily stared as the other boy rushed around the room. Karkat was grabbing things and throwing them into a red suitcase, mumbling curses.

"You are overreacting." Sollux announced sitting up on the bed, returning to the DS he held on his lap. The vein on his neck was nervously twitching, as he tried to suppress his emotions. For once Karkat was actually mad and not just going around being an asshole he is. Karkat threw his laptop and a book into the suitcase before zipping it up and rolling it to the door. He then stomped to Sollux with the expression of utter misery, hurt and anger.

"Drive me to the train station. I'm going home." He said roughly and with an obviously faked confidence. Sollux didn't reply staring at the screen of his DS as it blinked 'You Lost!'. "Fucking drive me, dick-face." Karkat was impatient, his voice only slightly shaking, but enough to show distress.

"Can't we talk?" Sollux shoved his DS away into the pillows, looking up at Karkat, his voice suddenly little and begging. Karkat growled showing his perfectly white teeth, his eyes sparkling in anger.

"I don't think we have shit to talk about, Captor, drive me or I'm walking there." He yelled at him, spitting and waving his hands around in pointless gestures.

"You can hit me more. It'th fine." Sollux mumbled, looking down, struggling not to give in to emotions. "Jutht don't leave." He heard Karkat shift uncomfortably, his arms coming down helplessly to rest on his sides. Sollux' eyes were hazy despite his best attempts to suppress tears. After a moment Karkat sighed loudly and shuffled away to the door.

"Just drive me, Captor." Karkat's voice sounded tired. Sollux heard him put shoes on and grab his suitcase, its little wheels loud against the wooden floor. He got up from the bed lifelessly, grabbing his wallet and keys from a nightstand, and following Karkat.

They were silent in the elevator, standing side by side, staring at the door. Sollux could hear him breathe; he could see his distorted reflection in the cold doors of elevator, and he could do nothing, he could only accept Karkat's decision.

As he opened the truck and loaded the suitcase and they were sited in his small red and rusty Toyota, he thought of how much he lost in just one moment. It cost him one mistake of following his wants to ruin a perfect world they lived in for the past two weeks. He couldn't swallow, his throat tight with bitter anger and regret.

The radio played a piano solo, one of the oddly sad melodies. Normally Sollux would turn it right off and laugh about how cheesy it was. But now it felt as the music was in his head and not carefully swirling through out the car for both to hear.

Karkat stared at him yelling and spitting in anger, his expressions varying from pain to rage, nose wrinkling, eyebrows drawn together, unruly hair slipping into his eyes. But Sollux couldn't hear a word; music was all that he heard, as if it was louder then Karkat's accusations. He didn't have to hear to know the other was revoking their friendship, calling him a faggot and promising to never forget what he made him go through.

He stopped at the intersection, watching for the cars coming from his left. Except for the rare puddles of yellow light and the headlights of passing cars, the world was consumed in darkness. The wild August rain was loud against pavement and car roof, powerful and untamed.

Sollux glanced at Karkat, half of his face slightly lit by the red and yellow from outside. There was a sudden change in his face, Karkat was staring past Sollux, his already big brown eyes widening in a confused fear as his lips shaped Sollux's name, his hand rising to point. Sollux only managed to turn his head half way when his eyes widened too at two bright white lights coming at them. The time seemed to slow as the piano played on the radio and an eight-wheeled truck, unnaturally bent, slid down the wet pavement towards them.

Sollux's hand reached towards Karkat, but it was too late, caught helpless in the mid air, as metal crumbled on impact, sending the car rolling down the road, as a weightless toy.

He was knocked out when the car came to rest right side up. Sollux coughed, bending over in reflex, returning to life. There was sharp pain in the right side of his head. He brought his hand up blindingly, his shaking fingers running over an odd sharp surface, a shard of glass in place of his right eye. He struggled to open his left eye, gasping hardly for air, feeling his other hand limp by his side, chest aching with broken ribs. Sollux saw shattered glass cover everything like sugar, a whole pile on his own lap. He turned his good eye towards the other passenger.

Distant sirens cut through the noise of rain; help was coming. Karkat sat so straight in his seat, eyes locked on Sollux, lips slightly apart, small blood trail from his mouth, down his chin and neck, and into his sweater, where on the left a disfigured metal pierced through his chest. Help was late.

That was the cost of a stolen kiss.


	2. Morphine Dreams

A/C: Hey guys! Thank you for the reviews, it means a lot to me. I have the Chapter 1 for you finally and I hope I will be able to update soon again. Thank you for reading!

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One In Twelve Thousand.

Chapter 1. Morphine Dreams.

Sollux woke up to the smell of sickness mixed with peppermint. His left eye flew wide open. It was so sickly white: walls, ceiling, and furniture – everything was white. Except for a blood bag hanging at his right side, garnet slowly flowing into his wrist. Why can't he open his right eye? His weak hand brushed over a patch on the right of his face. Sollux's breath was cut off with realization. He stared at the red, memories returning to him. Karkat. The name sat on a tip of his tongue, ringing in his ears, terror and grief swarming in his mind.

Weak growl of grief escaped his lip. He sat up on the hard hospital bed, shoving unwelcoming blankets off and without hesitation ripping out two tubes leading to his wrists. He darted to the door, but tripped over his own feet that seemed to be made of steel. The pain in his broken chest announced itself and with a sound of a wild animal ready to fight to death, he struggled against it, pulling himself up. Sollux was determined to get out of here, not sure why or where he will go. Not that it mattered.

A hand grabbed at the sleeve of his hospital gown as he was opening the door. He didn't notice there was somebody there with him. And it's not that he cared. Nothing was important anymore. He pushed the little figure away and escaped into the hallway. Everything was a blur of white and teal. Teal was the moving bodies rushing to him. Sollux took couple more heavy steps before collapsing to the floor in agony. Strange sounds were escaping his mouth. The wound under the patch opened from pressure. Red streak of blood slipped down his cheek, parallel to the clear paths of his tears on the left.

The teal surrounded him, grabbing at his limp body, lifting it and then throwing it back on the hard mattress. Sollux felt his wrists tied to the bed with restricting belts, needles returned to rest in his skin. Then came the smell of morphine. It filled the room swirling through the air, caught in his lungs as he took sharp and rare breaths. He was restless, like a wild tiger in a tight cage, unable to do anything but growl in grief, letting pain out.

Morphine slowly washed through his blood, making his body go numb, leaving him naked and exposed to his mental pain. Sollux's growls turned to dreadful high-pitched moans that weakened with each turn.

There was a hand holding his. That was the same hand that stopped him before. Ringing in his ears was loud enough to zone out any sounds up until now. The blurry figure kept repeating the same phrase.

"He is ok".

The phrase didn't make sense to Sollux at first. He could hear fear and tears in the voice, but also confidence.

"Karkat is ok."

Fury rose up in his chest. Lies. He is not ok. He is dead. Karkat is dead. Because of Sollux he is dead. He saw it. The image of Karkat's eyes, dull like glass with imprint of terror and confusion in them, rose in his mind. Sollux let out a whimper at that dreadful memory. Lies. How dare they lie to him? He fought more against his restrains.

Another needle pierced his skin, rubbery hands pressing down on his shoulders to keep him still. It stank of morphine and death. Sollux felt his body heavy with each breath until reality faded into dark.

He dreamt of that day.

Karkat just left shower, his hair still damp with water and cheeks red from heat. Sollux felt him stand by his side while he was coding a boring program he had to type up for his boss. It's been two weeks now that they hanged out, eating junk food, playing video games, watching Karkat's movies and generally having best time they could before Karkat had to leave for his senior year in a new high school.

Sollux swirled on his chair to look at him. Water from the tips of Karkat's hair dripped into his t-shirt, leaving dark wet circles. He had a rare thoughtful expression, puffy lips pressed tight together. He was so short that sitting down on his chair Sollux was exactly on his level. Corner of Karkat's lips twitched in hesitancy. He folded his arms on his chest; it was his regular protective pose.

"I was just thinking… " Karkat started, looking away. "… I will miss you and your stupid bullshit". Sollux opened his mouth in a surprise – the guy never spoke things like that. He felt something lift in him, ready to escape and leap forward. He smiled warmly at Karkat, feeling his cheeks burn.

"I'll mith you too, KK." They stared at each other for a moment. Karkat was so close Sollux could feel his breath brush against his cheeks. The feeling in his chest ached and pushed him forward. Before he could stop himself, his lips connected with Karkat's. He pulled him in a hug, but there was no answer. He pulled away.

Glass eyes stared back at him, full of Fear and Confusion. Red slipped from between Karkat's parted lips, gracefully traveling down his chin. Gapping hole on his left side, dark and bleeding garnet. Everything was pulsating with red. Blood slipped down his own hands, coating his fingers, then wrists, until he was drowning in it, white pressing from above.

"You killed me?..." Question left Karkat's lips, light as his breath, full of uncertainty and blame.

Sollux woke up in the dark, lights from traffic outside running across the ceiling. Silent tears slipped down his cheek, pillow damp against it.

"Yeth." He whispered, watching the lights and listening to the white noise of nightlife outside. His lips stretched in a bitter smile, voice tired and strangely calm. "Liarth…"


	3. Whole Heart

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys, I'm glad you want me to continue updating, and so I will! Chapter 2 was a bit of a challenge, but hey, finally not everything is so bad. Thank you for reading and I promise next update will be sooner!

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One In Twelve Thousand.

Whole Heart.

Days went by as a blur, similar to one other: morphine, white walls, small figure by his side and death smelling teal gowns. Pain in Sollux' throat and eyes became a part of his usual day. Slowly his rage faded, leaving nothing, but grief somewhere deep inside, aching like an open wound.

One of those days, when his mind was less clouded, he found enough interest to look at his daily visitor, the small figure that hasn't left his day since he woke up in the hospital.

It didn't make it better when he learned it was Aradia. She was just another victim of his reckless decisions. He only smiled to himself bitterly, his theory that he brings doom upon anyone he loves was coming true. She did not speak since her first and last lie to him days ago, and Sollux quietly thanked her for the granted silence.

His wounds were healing and soon he was allowed to use a wheelchair. He liked to sit next to the window, watching the small park attached to the hospital. Sollux was always so consumed in his work; he did not have a chance to enjoy the world outside. He watched children play and wondered if he will ever have his own.

The day Aradia broke the silence Sollux sat at the window as usual, watching sunset. He liked to feel the rays of evening sun on his skin; they were playing in his dark hair, coloring it red. Aradia moved around the room as a shadow, not making a sound as she entered, just as any other day. But today she came close to him, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. Sollux did not react; he was too deep in his thoughts, replaying happy days in his head.

"You can visit him." She said quietly. Sollux' lips parted, his heartbeat jumping up. How can she lie to him? But how can that be a lie? He turned his wheelchair around to face her. Aradia backed away from him, protectively holding small fists to her chest. A mixture of worry and confusion distorted his face. He hasn't spoken for many days and when he did, his voice was weak and rough.

"But…He…he is…" Sollux's head span with grief, silent tear escaping his eye. But he was seeking for hope, even if it was as mad as this. "Dead." He breathed out without a sound.

"Sollux, please." Aradia whispered carefully, her voice infected with Sollux' pain. "He needs you."

He studied her features, thoughts chaotic in his mind. Finally, he nodded slightly, wiping tears off, and then rolling over to a big bag that Aradia brought for him from home. With a shaking hand he pulled out a yellow sweater and pants. In a silence Aradia helped him get dressed, combed his hair and washed his face with warm water.

Sollux watched people as Aradia rolled his wheelchair down the hallway. He saw people whose faces mirrored his own, faces of silent pain and he wondered about their stories. They took elevator up, down the silent hallway, turned left, then stopped at the second door on the left. Before Aradia could open it, a doctor came out of the room, greeting and holding the door for them.

The smell hit Sollux' nose, smell of blood. Then he heard rare beeping of a machine, counting out the heartbeats of the patient and then he saw tubes running across pale skin, carrying oxygen into patient's lungs. He saw unruly black hair spread on the pillow, outlining a small face. The world span in his head, his body suddenly felt light.

Sollux flew to his feet, rushing forward, tears blurring his vision. His weak feet gave out and he crushed to his knees, but without hesitation he crawled on his four to the bed. He took a small cold hand, resting on rough sheets, into his own trembling one. The hope, the pain, the love, the fear – all crushed onto him, his body shaking violently. He smiled in his tears, his laugh indistinguishable from cries. Sollux sank to the floor, hiding his face in Karkat's palm, breathing in a familiar scent, he never dreamt to experience again.

"I'm thorry, I'm tho thorry, KK…" he mumbled through his cries. He could never hope to be forgiven. The doctor spoke calmly behind him and for once Sollux listened, desperate to learn about Karkat.

"As you know, Mr. Vantas had a puncture wound on the left of his chest. That is exactly where a regular human being's heart would be. However, here, happened to have Dextrocardia, that is, his heart is on the right. Chance for that is one in twelve thousand. His heart was missed by an inch. He is a lucky guy if you ask me." The doctor laughed lightly. Sollux rose back to his knees to look over the edge of the bed at Karkat, his cries stopped, leaving only tears to run down his cheek. Karkat seemed to be at a perfect peace in his sleep. "His wound is healing well, his breath stabilized, his left lung has almost collapsed before, but it restored, and he is getting better by day." Sollux heard doctor shift around the room. "He has not woken up just yet. We are not sure why." He said after a moment of silence. Sollux looked up at him, newly born determination in his eyes.

"Can I thtay with him? Here?" He glanced at the empty bed on the other side of the room. Doctor followed his glance and then smiled at him gently. Sollux' had made a decision, he was ready to fight for it and it read clearly in his expression.

"Of course." He nodded. "We can arrange that." He smiled once more before leaving the room.

Sollux sat back on the floor, tears drying out on his tired skin. He studied the perfect skin of Karkat's hand, each of his fingers, and traced the lines on his palm. He could faintly feel Karkat's heartbeat on the tips of his fingers. Sollux smiled, hope warm in his heart.

"I will help them get your things together." Aradia spoke. Sollux has forgotten the girl was in the room. He looked at her as she walked to the door.

"Aradia!" He called out just as she was about to leave. She stopped, turning to him. He could now see dark circles under her tired eyes. "Thank you." Even her smile was tired and weak.

"You are welcome" She waved her hand before disappearing into the hallway. Sollux brought his attention back to Karkat's hand, gently squeezing it in his. He rested his head against the bed, looking up at the white ceiling that was lightened up by slowly fading pink and purple. Those were the last, most beautiful moments of sunset.

Later, nurses set up his new bed, Aradia brought his belongings and left, wishing him good night, and doctor came by to explain Karkat's schedule. After the lights were off, and the only light left was a full moon, looking right through their window, Sollux got up from his bed. He leaned against the wall, and slowly made his way to Karkat's bed.

"Hey, KK…" He whispered, smiling to himself, feeling his heart fill with love and affection toward the figure in the dark. His legs were weak, so as gently as Sollux could, he sat down on the very edge of Karkat's bed. He carefully brushed away Karkat's hair from his eyes. Even in dark it was hard for Sollux not to notice how beautiful Karkat was. He leaned down and lightly kissed Karkat's cold forehead. He sat there, taking truth in. Karkat is alive. Karkat will be ok. Sollux's fingers ran down Karkat's cheek, trying to brush away unruly hair, but it sprang right back.

"Pleathe, wake up." Just in case Karkat could hear him, Sollux made sure to say it loud enough. He then got up, full of new thoughts, new hopes and, more then ever, love, and made his way back to his bed. He lied down, watching the moon gracefully move through the sky.

"Wake up…Wake up so you can hate me." He thought before drifting of into the sleep full of nightmares.


	4. Spectator

A/N: Am I seriously updating already? This time Karkat's POV! Thank you for reading!

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One In Twelve Thousand.

Spectator.

Karkat woke up to the curses loudly echoing from the walls of the room. It was a feminine voice, filled with bitterness and anger. Obviously the woman was trying to corner someone, make him or her feel miserable.

Karkat felt so unusually tired, every muscle of his body was exhausted and numb. That included his heavy eyelids. He couldn't move an inch nor could he open his eyes. At least his hearing was clear and let him know just how wide-awake he was. However, that could also be the fact that the woman seemed to have no confines to the volume of her voice.

"You ungrateful piece of shit! I gave you everything you wanted, education, best tutors, I got you an apartment, damn it! And how do you repay your mother?! You put your friends into comma. " Karkat wondered what was all that about, but he was pretty sure the woman was exaggerating. A tiny scared growl of protest answered her.

Karkat heard another pair of heavier feet shuffling, somewhere closer to him. He wished he could get at least a glance. He still had no idea where he was, why or what was happening. His head seemed to hurt when he tried to remember and he decided not to push it, time will come.

"It's your fault, your fault they are hanging on a thin thread! Karkat can die or worse, live as vegetable for the rest of his life. Is that what you want for your friends? And it is all your fault, it's always your fault, I wish you were never born!" She growled too, her voice finally reaching its limits, breaking off into ugly sounds. Karkat heard what could only be a slap across the face, followed by a tiny muffled moan of pain.

"I'm thorry…" What Karkat heard was almost a whisper, but that was enough for him to recognize the voice. What is Sollux doing here? And what did she mean when she said 'Karkat can die'? He tried to process it and a scary thought that maybe right now he was what could be defined as a 'vegetable'. He put that thought away, knowing that proper patient left to be a 'vegetable' wouldn't have his brain functioning. He returned to trying to reason why Sollux was here with him. And really where were they? Sollux' apartment? Through his eyelids he could still register that the room was way too bright to belong to Sollux. Another slap followed with another moan in response.

"I'm thorry…" Karkat couldn't puzzle it together, why was Sollux' mother mad at him for Karkat. He wanted his questions answered, but more slaps, moans and apologies followed, and Karkat tried to get his attention away from the sounds. He couldn't help his friend no matter how much he wanted to.

_Beep beep beep beep. _He concentrated on that sound. It sounded awfully like a heart monitor. All of this was so disturbing, forgotten pieces of memory finally volunteering to come up in his mind. Then Karkat remembered it all.

_Beep beep beep beep. _The beeping became more frequent, and now that he could feel his heart beating out of his chest, he knew it was heart monitor, and the tingly feeling in his wrists must be needles. Was he dying? Was he in comma? Or was he really just tired? Dying and comma sounded way too unreal to him. He decided that he was just tired. Karkat thought that maybe he was so tired because he _almost _died. He breathed in deeply, feeling binding on his chest tighten and muted pain strike through his chest. Fuck, he felt better before remembering all of this.

"It's your fault, Mituna, you spoiled him! You will see, one day your cripple of a son will be the one to put you in your grave. Hasn't he destroyed our reputation enough for you to realize that?!" Mother was now somewhere at Karkat's feet, close to the man who stood there, and as it turned out was Sollux' father. The men mumbled something incoherent, which could only mean he was scared of the woman.

"You are paying for all of this yourself, Sollux." She addressed Karkat's friend again. "…I've got no son." Her heels echoed loudly from the walls as she walked out. In the silence Karkat could hear two men breathing. He could also hear how obnoxious was the beeping from his heart monitor and concentrated on slowing his heartbeat down, he wasn't ready for attention yet.

"Dad?..." Sollux called out breaking the silence. The feet slowly shuffled to some point between Karkat and Sollux. He heard a little sound of lips connecting with skin and then a shuffle of blankets. "I love you, dad… I'm thorry I'm a cripple murderer… or whatever mom thinkth I am. "

"I'm sorry, son." Man responded. In less then a minute and with no more words the door shut and it all came back to silence. Despite Karkat's best attempts, the beeping of his heart monitor skyrocketed when he heard a first sob from his friend. Actually that was the first sob he ever witnessed from him. Just how broken hearted was Sollux?

Karkat wished to open his mouth, to tell him 'It's not your fault' and assure Sollux that everything is ok. It's even ok that he almost died; it wasn't up to Sollux to decide. But the best he could do is slightly part his lips, and that alone was exhausting.

He had no choice, but to listen to his friend's cries of misery, which Sollux couldn't even control as it escaped his mouth in a form of sounds of a deeply wounded creature.

If Karkat could, he would tell Sollux that he wasn't even mad for the kiss anymore. It was silly anyways, not like he never knew Sollux was more then friendly to him. Maybe it was even Karkat's fault all this happened after all.

There was a sound of bare feet landing on the linoleum floor, and it startled Karkat, bringing him back from his deep thoughts. It was of course Sollux and he could hear the distance between them shrink, until Karkat felt a gentle movement of his bed. He felt his hand lifted with a much warmer one. Karkat couldn't move a finger and felt defeated.

"It'th my fault, KK…" He heard a guilty whisper followed by a sob. So much frustration and anger rose in Karkat he could barely hold it. With it came a boost of energy. Before he knew it he drew his lips apart.

"No…" Escaped Karkat's mouth. Karkat knew it was too silent. Despite the fact that his ears were now ringing blocking out the world almost entirely, he concentrated more. "No!" That should be enough. His head went into a mad spin, spots dancing in his closed eyes from sudden exhaustion.

"KK?..." It was last he heard.

Karkat fainted.


	5. Friends Forgive

A/N: Short update. One more week of midterms and I can pay more attention to this. Back to Sollux, and this update is a bit of boring, but necessary (: Thank you for reading!

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One In Twelve Thousand.

Friends Forgive.

It was three weeks since the accident when Sollux' parents finally found time for a visit. It was that same day that Karkat chose to wake up. And now Sollux was left sitting on Karkat's bed, staring at the motionless, once again silent body of his best friend, tears drying on his left cheek.

Skin on his face was still stinging where his mother's hand hit him. But he almost forgot about the encounter: his best friend finally woke up. Sollux wondered how much Karkat heard, and hoped his shameful tears went unnoticed. His heart was beating happily in his chest, although he wasn't sure if it was time to be sad or happy. Sollux grew accustomed to his friend's silence in the past week, and he wasn't sure what was going to happen now that Karkat was coming back.

He shook his head. It was his duty to report to the doctor. And also talk about the possibilities of taking Karkat home. With his parents abandoning him to pay bills from his tiny paycheck, he sadly had to admit, he couldn't afford a day more at the hospital. To make things more complicated, Karkat only had a sad excuse for a mother. Who knew where that woman was, but where ever that happened to be, she would not care for her son anyways. Sollux scratched his head sighing in annoyance and got up to call the doctor.

The doctor was more then happy to have Karkat wake up from his mysterious dream. But he frowned as Sollux explained that he was not able to afford the stay any longer. Doctor promised to try to figure something out, and later in the day came back smiling and giving Sollux thumbs up. He found a nurse who was eager to volunteer to come to Sollux' house everyday to check up on Karkat, and give him any medical attention he might need. The story of the boy with a heart on the right spread in the hospital fairly fast, with many nurses coming to visit the lucky boy. Sollux couldn't thank the doctor enough.

As the doctor left, Sollux decided to pack his and Karkat's things since they were leaving tomorrow morning. When he was done, he sat the bags in the corner and pulled up a chair to Karkat's bed. He hoped Karkat would wake up soon again, that would make matters simpler. Maybe he would finally be able to eat and not have nutrients flow into him through the needle. The day was too overwhelming and soon Sollux fell asleep, resting his head on Karkat's bed, like he did many times before.

Only this time he was woken up not by a smiling nurse, but by a rough squeeze of his shoulder. He lifted his heavy head up, glancing at Karkat sleepily, only to find the boy staring back, his eyebrows pulled close together, watching Sollux skeptically.

"When did you become so pathetic? Sleeping on my bed like I'm fucking dying or some-" He cut himself short, his eyes widening when Sollux faced him. Sollux tilted his head, not sure what surprised Karkat so much. Karkat shook his head slightly, before lifting his hand to point and letting it freeze in the air for a second, before it fell back down helplessly.

"Your eye…" He whispered, seeking an answer in Sollux expression. Sleepy surprise on Sollux' face switched to realization and he averted his look, hoping to hide his damaged side in the dark that now filled the room. Black threads pulled uneven skin together where his right eye used to be. He got so used to only having one eye in the past weeks, he didn't even give it a thought anymore. Pain reflected on Karkat's face, his hand found Sollux' and tried to get a hold of it.

"It'th fine really." Sollux gave him a tiny fake smile. He shifted uneasily in his seat, slipping his hand away from Karkat. He needed to switch the topic. He didn't need Karkat's pity. "How are you feeling?" He asked turning back to Karkat and giving him a more genuine smile. Karkat stared worriedly at Sollux' injury, struggling to look away.

"I can finally fucking speak and see and it feels much better then lay here like an idiot, unable to do anything. " He mumbled finally, scratching his forehead, and closing his eyes for a moment. Sollux knew that usually meant Karkat had a headache.

"Doctor lowered the dothe of your painkillerth. He thinkth your thleep might have been a bad thide effect from them. " Sollux said yawning. "We are going home tomorrow, tho we both should get thome retht, KK." He gave Karkat a serious look, before smiling. Karkat only nodded. Sollux got up, dragging the chair back to the wall. He then silently shuffled to his own bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling.

"I missed you, KK, I'm glad you woke up." Sollux broke the silence, closing his eye.

"I bet you did, fuckass." Karkat snarled. Sollux felt sleep taking over. "I forgive you." Karkat said in a clear and calm voice, words echoing from the walls.

"Huh?" Sollux turned to face the darkness, opening his eye in a surprise.

"I forgive you for the kiss."


	6. Used and Hollow

A/N: So here you go guys, another chapter! This one has multiple viewpoints. Thank you for your sweet review, Axel-Estan, it really means a lot to me. And thank you guys for the follows and favs! I will be updating more frequent now, thank you for reading!

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One In Twelve Thousand.

Used and Hollow.

It was an early morning when nurse helped wheel Karkat out to Aradia's car, who volunteered to drive guys to Sollux' apartment. Karkat was exhausted and almost immediately fell asleep in his seat, so that when they arrived, Sollux had to carry him on his arms upstairs. He set Karkat on the couch, while Aradia helped him clean his room for Karkat's stay. Sollux would be staying in the living room, on the couch – Karkat needed best atmosphere for healing. When everything was ready Karkat was once again lifted up and moved to the bed.

Sollux thanked Aradia over and over for everything she has done for them, but she only smiled and shook her head. After she left, he returned to the bedroom. He looked over Karkat, and let a tiny smile touch his lips. Karkat wasn't mad at him, they were still best friends and they were both ok. Sollux swore to himself to take the best care of him.

With that thought, he carefully freed Karkat from uncomfortable grey jeans and a hoodie, leaving him in his boxers and a t-shirt. Sollux covered him with his favorite bees & daisies blanket, smiling at the peacefully resting friend. He leaned over the bed and opened the window letting the fresh air into the room. Light curtains slowly danced in the air, it smelled like freshly cut grass, and for the first time Sollux thought that everything would be alright.

As he was leaving the room, dichromatic glasses caught his eye. Those were from his younger days. In fact it was gift from Karkat, who was convinced that the glasses were a must have for Sollux. He wore them through out the middle school, until he decided he was too old for them. And now Sollux found himself carefully putting them back on. It was time to hide again.

Sollux studied himself in the door mirror and shook his head, smiling bitterly. His azure eye on the left and the ugly mess on the right were safely hidden under almost opaque red and blue lenses. The world was painted one hue, and Sollux frowned – that's the way the world will be from now on: flat and blue.

* * *

Karkat woke up to the sun illuminating a usually dark room. He realized he was back at Sollux apartment. Looking around, he noticed that the room was cleaner then usual, but by the dust dancing and shining in the sun rays, he could tell apartment hasn't been taken care of for weeks. Karkat sat up, his weak arm shaking under his weight. He pulled the pillows up and rested against them in a sitting position.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there thinking when he heard a doorbell. Karkat tilted his head with interest, listening. He heard Sollux speaking with some girl whose voice he couldn't recognize. The steps and voices became louder as they neared the door. Sollux appeared in a doorway and let himself and a girl in teal in.

"Hey, KK! You woke up! Thith ith Meenah, she ith the nurthe that volunteered to take care of you." He smiled gesturing at the girl. "Meenah, thith ith Karkat."

"Nice to meet you." Karkat mumbled in confusion feeling his cheeks getting red. The girl was something: thin and boyish, with a black mess of a hair on her head, alike to the mess on Karkat's own head, with two thin and long braids down to her hips. She pushed her pink glasses up on her nose, smiling and waving a 'hello'.

"I will go prepare uth thome lunch, time for real food, KK!" Sollux quickly disappeared in the hallway as the girl enthusiastically approached Karkat, grinning down at him and placing her bag on the chair.

"So, lucky boy, lets see how your healing is going!" Meenah was already gently helping him move to the middle of the bed. Karkat cringed at the name: he didn't agree with the nickname a smallest bit; he could as well be unlucky. Her hands worked quickly, taking off his bandages. She studied the uneven skin of his wound, asking him about how much it bothered him and nodding to his answers. Done with examination of the main injury, she applied cream and rebound his chest, before looking over the minor ones.

"All done, you only have two pills left to take after you eat." She grinned, sitting him back and putting small orange bottles of medicine on Sollux' table. "I'm in a bit of a hurry today, but it was really nice meeting you and all. I will see you tomorrow." She winked and Karkat nodded back.

After she left, Sollux and Karkat ate lunch, sitting on the bed and watching one of Karkat's movies. Eating felt more then nice; Karkat was pretty starved after three weeks of living purely on injected nutrients.

* * *

They sat like that all evening: Sollux deep in coding on his laptop and Karkat staring at the TV, watching soap operas for housewives. At nine Sollux finally decided to leave Karkat to rest, gently removing his sleeping body from his shoulder and resting him down on the pillows. He brushed Karkat's unruly hair away, before lending him a light kiss on the forehead. Sollux turned the still babbling TV off and left the room soundlessly.

* * *

Days came and went, and Sollux had no time to decide whether this style of living suited him or not. He worked more then usual, still owing thousands to the hospital, and a week later his first year in college began, taking over all the free time he ever had. He would get up early, make breakfast for him and Karkat, leave to school, come back in the mid afternoon, already after Meenah's visit, make lunch and spend the rest of his evening coding, while Karkat watched TV. Sollux couldn't say it was bad: his boss let him take on more projects to make up for the absence, freshman courses were easy and fun, Meenah and Karkat seemed to get along, and most importantly his best friend was alive and well.

It was too late when Sollux realized that with all the medical and college bills he forgot that he was also supposed to pay utility bills as well as mortgage that his parents so gladly decided to abandon. In fact he only learned about it when his shower refused to get warm. Letters of high importance also told him that electricity would be cut off shortly after. While he could cope with cold water, he wouldn't be able to work on coding without electricity and that would mean no money to pay for the same damn electricity. To add to the problems a letter for Karkat broke the last straw: since he didn't show up for the interview, he was not accepted to the school, and thus was now stuck at Sollux' home doing nothing and waiting for his documents to come back, so he could return to the local school.

Headaches wouldn't leave Sollux as he tried to figure out what to do. To make matters worse, Karkat decided to take couple cold showers when Sollux was out and caught a severe cold. Meenah started spending more time at the apartment, fearing for Karkat's damaged lung. And Sollux could only hope to find a way out, under her silent accusative stares.

There was a big storm coming one September Friday, and Sollux' class was canceled due to the dangerous weather. He came back home silent and full of thoughts, resting umbrella against a shoe rack. He heard that Meenah was visiting Karkat and was about to announce that he was home, when the topic of their conversation reached his ear. Soundlessly Sollux moved down the hallway and leaned against the wall next to his bedroom, listening.

"- you know what I mean? The guy can't take care of you; he is just a kid himself. This cold can grow into something more serious, Karkat; I know you can feel it. Friends don't always understand how serious is your injury." Meenah preached. Sollux frowned in confusion, what was the nurse trying to do?

"I fucking know it well, Meenah, And I guess I understand him, it's hard to take care of someone else if no one ever took care of you. I don't blame him, but to be fucking honest, I agree, I don't think living here is a really good idea for me. " Karkat's voice answered. He almost sounded broken and guilty, but with a good bit of confidence.

"I think you should come live with me, Karkat, at least I can afford your medicine and give you basic comforts of electricity and hot water. You know, we've become close in this time, you can trust me, and this would be the best solution for you." Meenah pressed on. Sollux felt like her words kicked all air out of him. He was so worthless, she was right - he really couldn't take care of his friend.

"I don't fucking know," Karkat answered in a defeated voice. "I guess I should." There was a shifting of blankets and a tiny sound of lips connecting. Sollux felt his heart stop. He found himself staring through a thin line of a barely open door. He wished he never looked.

Sollux watched Meenah and Karkat separate, and the girl ruffled wavy locks on Karkat's head. "Good boy." She grinned at him with what looked like hunger to Sollux. And then Karkat genuinely smiled back at her.

Sollux left as quietly as he came.

He wasn't even sure how he got to the pub in the storm or how he convinced bartender that he was of age, or even what drinks used to be in the empty shots lined up in front of him, but he was sure that he never felt more hollow. Just before he passed out on the counter, his phone buzzed forcing him to look at the glowing screen.

"Electricity is fucking cut off. –Karkat".


	7. Decay

A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews Axel-Estan, Amberpaw1999 and Zexionienzo! Also thanks for the follows and favs! Ok, I'm not sure what I think about this. But, (tw: sexual themes), so if you want, just read first part of it and skip the rest. Thank you for reading!

* * *

One In Twelve Thousand.

Decay.

In the early morning Sollux woke up in the bar, waiter shaking him by his shoulder. He quickly apologized and was soon out on the street. The storm from last night scarred the town. Sollux walked slowly watching people rush to tend to the fallen trees. Under his feet leaves and small twigs turned to green mud. Streets were unusually empty, most businesses closed and only rare cars passing by. The silence was almost worrying, a couple times Sollux wondered if maybe he went deaf.

When he came into his apartment, first thing he noticed was that Karkat's shoes were gone. The guy never left to go anywhere. Bedroom was dark and empty, bed made; window and curtains shut, and instead of medicine, on the desk rested a small note.

_I will be staying at Meenah's. –Karkat._

Sollux crumbled the note and sent it into a trashcan. He fell on the bed lifelessly face down, inhaling the still lingering scent on the blanket. Silent tears left dark marks on the yellow fabric.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed there, curled up in the blanket like in a cocoon, but with each passing heartbeat he felt more and more distant from the world, hoping he could hide away like this forever.

The dim sunlight slowly shifted across the ceiling, counting down hours. Around noon, Sollux could not take the lonely feeling anymore. He needed someone. Anyone.

He sat up on the bed, still entangled in the blanket, and took out his phone. He stared at the contact list. The first number was Aradia. Without another thought he pressed dial.

"Hey, Sollux!" Aradia picked up almost immediately. She sounded happy to hear him and Sollux closed his eyes before replying.

"Hey, do you think you can come over?" His voice was broken and quiet, and she must have caught onto that, because there was a minute of silence.

"Alright, give me ten minutes." She finally agreed, her voice now filled with concern. Sollux hung up and tipped over to his right side, falling back into the pillows with a huff, cloud of dust raising to dance and swirl in the air.

Three knocks on the door woke Sollux up from his daydreaming and he clumsily rushed from the bed to open it. Aradia greeted him with a worried look and let herself inside.

"Hey, Sollux! How are you?" She looked over his shoulder as she took her shoes off. "How is Karkat?" She placed her bag near her shoes and wandered down the hallway. Sollux silently followed her. She stopped in the bedroom's doorway staring at the messy bed and looked back at Sollux, who never answered her.

"He left." Sollux passed by her, entering the room and making the bed.

"What do you mean? Where did he left to?" Aradia wondered with a puzzled look, finally noticing the emptiness of the room.

"He left to live with a nurthe that wath helping uth…him" Sollux sat down on the bed, leaning against the wall and pulling his feet up. He patted the space next to him, inviting the girl to sit. She followed his gesture and gracefully took the spot, studying Sollux' expression. "I wathn't good enough. I can't pay billth. Hot water and electrithity are off, and he caught a cold becauthe of me." Sollux tiredly rested his head on his knees, from the corner of his eye watching Aradia.

"Oh Sollux, you should have told me earlier, I could have helped you two." Aradia let her arms wrap around Sollux shoulders and pull him closer. He leaned against her, and silent tears soon turned into loud sobs.

"I-I'm thuch a wreck… I-I'm thorry… I though I could take care of him… I really tried my betht… but I'm worthleth." He mumbled, hiding his tears in her shoulder.

"I know you tried your best, Sollux, I know you did…" Aradia let her hand run through his hair and down his back, trying to calm him down. "You are not worthless, you are a great friend to Karkat." She rested her head on top of his. Sollux wrapped his arms around her, sobs shaking his weakened body. "He'll be back, he can't leave you behind." Sollux lifted his head, tears staining his left cheek, looking up at her.

"You think tho?" He whispered and she nodded. Sollux could feel Aradia's warm breath run across his skin, he watched her burgundy eyes and studied the way her red lips parted just a tiny bit, enough for him to see the white of her teeth.

Sollux leaned in and their lips softly connected in a kiss. He pulled her closer and she answered the kiss. He kissed her harder and her arms tightened around him. He ran his tongue across her lips and she let it in. Sollux's hand ran down her back and under her shirt, hot skin against his cold fingers. He gently pushed her over, positioning himself on top of her and traveling his kisses down to her neck.

"Sollux…" She whispered weakly, closing her eyes, her mouth gaping in a suppressed moan. Sollux could feel her body tense under him as he let his hand wander, his fingers spreading hungrily on her smooth skin. He kissed her more, before pulling away and taking his shirt off, throwing it to the floor, and then undoing his jeans.

Aradia was looking up at him with an expression of utter confusion and defeat. Sollux ignored her expression, and without a second thought threw his boxers into the pile as well. Girl's eyes widened, but she didn't say a word and didn't fight when he pulled off her cloths as well.

Sollux looked down at the bare girl beneath him, regret in his eye well hidden behind the glasses. Aradia lay there pale, exposed and silent. He could read fear in her eyes. He lowered himself back down, her legs on each side of him. He could feel salty tears wet his lips and then slip down, crashing onto Aradia's skin, as he entered.

He was deaf to the way Aradia called out his name; he was blind to the way her lips parted in moans and numb to the nails digging into the skin on his back.

"Karkat…" He growled weakly as he finished, crashing on top of Aradia. His body shook in cries as his hot tears got mixed with silent ones falling from Aradia's eyes. Her shaking hand gently pat the back of his neck.

"I-I'm th-thorry…" Sollux whispered into Aradia's ear, but she only shook her head slightly, hugging him tighter to herself.


	8. Army of Dead

A/N: This giant break was definitely unintended, unfortunately I got sick, and then lost electricity for a week due to Sandy. But here we go! To make up for the break, this chapter is extra long. Thank you so much for the sweet reviews, it really means a lot to me and keeps me going! Thank you for reading! (tw: character death)

* * *

One In Twelve Thousand.

Army of Dead.

Sollux woke up alone and set up on cold sheets in a dim light of sunrise. He wondered if Aradia left. She would probably never come back if she did. He swallowed hard and took his glasses from the desk. Sollux tried to stay quiet as he pulled on his boxers and pants, listening for any movement in the apartment. He sighed with a relief when the sounds of ceramic against ceramic reached his ears from somewhere in the living room.

Sollux shuffled down the hallway and stopped in the arc. He spotted Aradia setting the plates with steaming rice and eggs on the counter. She noticed him and gave him a quick smile, before turning away to get utensils.

"Good Morning, Sollux!" Aradia's voice was cheery as usual, as she finished setting their breakfast. "Come sit down!" She gestured to him. Sollux didn't move, he studied Aradia, trying to see if she was faking the good mood.

"You are thtill here. Why?" He said very quietly, as if scared that she will suddenly change her mind and storm right out. Instead, Aradia just laughed lightly.

"Because somebody needs to help you out a bit, silly. Now sit down and eat." She poured two glasses of grapefruit juice and set them down, before coming around and pulling herself up to a bar chair. Sollux decided that he should stop trying to make sense of her actions, and sat down next to her.

"There ith no electrithity, I can't even work anymore. I think itth a dead end." Sollux mumbled, poking his food with a fork, before finally tasting it.

"I paid the bills for this month for you. It should be back on anytime now." Aradia said casually chewing on her food. "It will be as if I paid you for the rent. I will stay here for a bit. I want to make sure you are ok." She met his disturbed and protesting stare and shook her head. "No, you are not arguing with me." Sollux turned back to his food.

"Thankth" He finally replied, really trying not to protest, knowing it was futile. Aradia smiled and set her empty plate aside, working on finishing her juice.

"Great, now, why don't we clean it up in here a bit?" Aradia traced the table with her finger and showed him the dust that collected, wrinkling her face. "This place could use some cleaning". She laughed lightly again. Sollux blushed in shame and nodded, smiling back.

Aradia lived with Sollux for a month and a week. Sollux went to school, worked all night and soon paid out the rest of his and Karkat's medical bills. And soon after that he saved up enough to afford living for another month. Aradia cooked for them both and smiled a lot, not letting Sollux to feel alone for even a second.

But Sollux couldn't help it. He felt hollow. Besides he was a coward, he couldn't find strength to call Karkat, or even message him. Sollux was scared that just hearing Karkat's voice would shatter the glass world he untiringly built around himself in that month. So he carried on, trying to suppress the ache in his chest.

On a usual evening, Sollux immersed himself in coding and Aradia set by his side with her own laptop, decoding ancient languages. They were friends, and living together, their friendship grew further and further away from anything romantic. They never talked about that day and Sollux decided it was for the better – Aradia was his friend, maybe even best friend. Although he was scared to call her that, he feared it was out of the allowed boundaries. He has hurt her too much to deserve being called a best friend.

Only two years ago an accident caused by Sollux placed Aradia into hospital, where she spent almost three months in coma. The night of the accident, they were at a Christmas party thrown by their shared friend. Sollux drank until he couldn't remember himself and wandered out into the cold air. He did not have memories of arguing with Aradia, who joined him on the balcony, nor did he remember the fury that overwhelmed him and forced him to push Aradia five floors down, and he did not remember the girl's lifeless body on the icy sidewalk. His memories started from seeing that girl in the white room, lying inertly on white hospital sheets, machines keeping her alive. When Aradia woke up, she never was same again. She was just happy to be alive. She would smile and laugh, and enjoy every passing minute. It frustrated Sollux, he wanted her to be mad at him, because he deserved it, but she had no anger in her.

And now, years later, she sat by his side, occasionally looking up from her work to give Sollux a warm smile. Sollux spent last twenty minutes staring at the empty project, too busy thinking to code. He growled in frustration and hid his face in his hands. Aradia looked up and tilted her head to the right.

"Sollux, you ok?" She asked with curiosity. Sollux shrugged and sat back yawning, then frowning.

"I jutht have thith really bad feeling..." He finally answered. "And I… I don't even know…" He trailed off, thoughts of Karkat instantly populating his mind. He shook his head trying to get them out. Aradia sighed and petted his shoulder understandingly.

"I'll go make us some coffee. You look like you are about to fall asleep, and it's only six." She got up and soundlessly left the room.

Sollux stretched and looked back at his code. It was futile to try working on it now, so he minimized it and browsed Internet. Quickly getting tired of that, he sat back again, his eye fixed on the Pesterchum. Another one of his usual tasks was waiting for Karkat to message him. But as always his grey handle told him, the other was offline. Soon he closed his eye and listened to the white noise from the computers.

Aradia walked into the room balancing two cups on a small tray, biscuits in another hand. But that wasn't what brought Sollux back to reality. His phone was buzzing. He quickly grabbed it from the table and felt cold shiver roll down his spine. It was Karkat. Without another thought or a ready apology he picked up. What followed made him jump onto his feet and the world took a mad spin in his eyes.

"S-Sollux… Help…" Karkat's voice was unnatural and pained. He sounded like he didn't have enough air to breath. "They… they are not breathing…"

* * *

Meenah twirled in front of the tall mirror, chiffon of her fuchsia dress in motion around her thin waist, brushing against her knees. She undid her messy braids and sat down on floor to re-braid them, her dress spread out on the carpet.

Karkat was watching her from the bed, noting the girl dress up more then usual. He himself was dressed in a black collared shirt with a fuchsia bow tie to fit her dress. Meenah never clearly explained what they are doing.

"Can you tell me more then that we are going to a fucking fancy party you threw to save the world? That is some very vague information. " Karkat muttered in annoyance. He hated surprises. Meenah shifted, to sit facing Karkat, finishing her right braid and moving on to the left one.

"I told you already, there is a big guy who wants to kill all of us. It will basically take him about five seconds to burn this planet to ashes, unless we stop him. I brought together people who would be fit to defeat him." She spoke, excitement in her voice. The way she was so relaxed and happy, convinced Karkat that this was an actual cause and he tried to shrug his worry away. Meenah winked at him, her bright eyes sparkling. How could he stay unsure?

"Alright. Why the hell are we running late then? The world can't wait." He gestured at the clock, reading half and hour after six in the evening. Meenah grinned, jumping up on her feet and pulling Karkat's hand to go.

"That's the spirit!" She laughed.

The ride to the meeting place was short. They parked in front of a fancy restaurant that Meenah rented out for the night. The manager came out to greet them, leaving the key in Meenah's hand, before disappearing in the dark parking lot.

The room was large, with a tall ornate ceiling and gold plated columns. A big dining table was set up in the middle, and the only things on it were glasses for red wine. The room was quickly filled with people of all kinds and ages. Chatter and laughter echoed from walls. Meenah sat people down; she gestured Karkat at the two seats on one end of the table, inviting him to sit as well. She stood at the corner of the table, all faces turned to her.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We came here together tonight to defeat the evil and save this world. I thank you for volunteering for the cause. Let's us begin." She smiled, swiftly disappearing in the other room before coming back with a decanter full of red wine. Meenah skillfully poured it into the glasses, guests thanking her. Karkat stared at his own glass. He couldn't stand wine and just the smell made his nose wrinkle. Meenah won't be mad if he only wets his lips in it, right? Meenah sat down next to Karkat and raised her glass in the air, for all to see.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's raise our glasses and praise this day! Let's enjoy this wine to the last drop!" She smiled and nodded to confirm her own words. Others raised their glasses as well. Karkat took the drink in his hand and stared at it with annoyance, it smelled of rot and mud. It was burgundy-pink, almost like Meenah's eyes.

"Let's begin this war!" Meenah announced cheerfully and guests brought glasses to their lips. Karkat took a tiny sip of his own wine, quickly pulling away from the glass in disgust. He caught Meenah watching him and rolled his eyes, taking another small taste, fighting the gagging reflex. Meenah was the last to drink and didn't put her glass down till the last drop disappeared in her mouth. She sat back, her eyes watching Karkat, forcing him to drink more. This wine tasted worse then usual: bitter and sour with an aftertaste of smoke. It was a moment later that Karkat realized something was wrong. Light in Meenah's eyes was fading as she smiled weakly at him.

"See you soon, darling…" She whispered, shifting to Karkat and lightly kissing him, before her body lifelessly slid to his lap. Karkat was deaf to the sound of his almost full glass shattering on the floor, red wine sipping through the cracks in the stone. It was ringing in his ears, his eyes wide, watching as the last shrug ran down Meenah's spine, leaving her completely still. He lifted his head only to see most of the guests lying on the table, some fallen to the floor, motionless like rag dolls. Though some were still fighting for life, chocking, blood slipping down their chins. Karkat's own insides seemed to be set on fire, something tearing him apart. He tasted blood in his mouth.

Karkat jumped from his seat, stumbling backwards to the door, his legs eventually giving out. He hurt more then when he was dying last time. Maybe it was because this time he was really dying. His trembling hand searched for the phone in the pocket of his pants, dialing the first number that he could remember. The last guest collapsed to the floor, and the room finally fell silent, as Sollux picked up his phone.

"S-Sollux… Help…"Breathing was hard, so was the talking. Karkat closed his eyes as he spoke, unable to watch the scene. "They… they are not breathing…" He felt silent hot tears running down his cheeks. "I-I'm at the 34 E-east street…" A sob loudly escaped his mouth as he felt his stomach pierced with more pain. "I-I think I'm dying too."


End file.
